The Baker (aka... the Husband... aka... the Non-Baker)

Once upon a time, a wife came home in the evening to find her husband had made dessert. Aww, how nice of him! She thought. She came over to see the yummy treat he had made and was... well... a little speechless. "What... is it, honey?" she tried to ask nicely. For it simply looked like a gooey sugary mess. "Peanut butter bars," the husband said. "I followed the recipe, I don't know why it didn't work." (Please note: a couple months ago said husband tried to make no bake cookies with NO recipe... figured just using the right(ish) ingredients what could go wrong?... MUCH went wrong...) "You followed a recipe?" the wife asked, trying not to sound too skeptical. "Yes! It's right here. I called my, mom. I followed it EXACTLY. It's the same one she used all the time." The wife still had an unsure feeling... "I DID follow the recipe. It should have worked! I followed it EXACTLY." Pauses... "well, I just made some frosting for the top, since we didn't have chocolate chips. But the bottom part is my mom's recipe exactly!" "Well..." trying to keep skepticism from her voice... "then... I don't know why it didn't work. If you followed the recipe exactly. We had all the ingredients?" Husband pauses, "Well, we didn't have baking soda, so I just used baking powder." There we go. "Honey, those aren't the same thing. They do different things in baking, they're not substitutable." Husbands turn to look skeptical, "Are you sure? They look the same." One look at what's in the pan tells you who is likely to be right. : ) The wife tries a bite of the gooey sugariness. "It... tastes like I'm biting into a pile of peanut butter flavored sugar." Complete with the crunch of sugar crystals and all. Definitely not your typical peanut butter bar... "Are you sure you didn't put extra sugar in it? That is um... really... sugary..." the wife asks, trying to figure out what else went wrong in this dessert making process. "No! I only added what it said. See (points to recipe) it calls for (X amount) sugar. That's what I added, exactly!," the husband says in his defense. At this point the wife looks on the counter to see the wrappers from packets of maple and brown sugar instant oatmeal. Ahhh... and THERE would be the extra sugar component right there. sigh... Oh, yes. Followed the recipe "EXACTLY".... except for the substituting of baking powder for baking soda... and the using oatmeal loaded with extra sugar instead of plain oatmeal. Yup... "exactly"... : ) The wife gives a little smile to her husband, "Well... thanks for... making dessert, honey." She pats the husband on the back and walks out of the kitchen, shaking her head slightly and giving a little sigh... Well... "A" for effort I suppose. : ) Please Note #1: The wife DOES acknowledge that the husband is, in fact, a truly good cook (most of the time, if he doesn't experiment TOO much). But cooking is different than baking. You can 'throw things together' in cooking. Baking requires more precise measurements and ONLY substituting ingredients that truly are substitutable. There is much less ability to 'wing it' in baking. Please note #2: The wife states that she also acknowledges that she is not a very good baker. A pretty decent cook yes... but a baker she is not. However... the wife is not in denial as the husband obviously seems to be and she admits to this fault and therefore follows recipes when baking. And she follows those recipes EXACTLY. (Please see an official dictionary for the definition of "exactly". For she means the actual definition... not the 'other' kind of "exactly" the husband used earlier... which means "kind of the same with a few changes".) [Honey, though you don't read my blog often... so I doubt you'll read this... if you DO read this... thank you for being a good sport and letting me post it and I love you *muah* LOL] : )