Ambition

Why can't I just be content being a stay at home mom? I could learn to cook better. I could find a system so my house actually stays immaculately clean for more than 1 waking hour. I could sew and such.

Please note and remember: I LOVE being a mom. #1 best job EVER. And I would never trade that for anything. And whatever else I do in life, it will be something I can do while STILL being a mom to my children. I know that not everyone has that luxury. But I have vowed that if at all possible, I will never pay someone else to raise my children. I was blessed to be given that job, and I will do it myself (well, with the help of my husband and occassional care from grandparents and babysitters, but you understand my meaning).

But there is this part of me that CRAVES doing something amazing. To create something wonderful using a combination of my education and past experiences. Two of my dreams would be to start a daycare/preschool and most especially a children's museum (that would of course include preschool type classes). Words cannot express how much I want to do BOTH of these. I have so many ideas!

Why not just work at one? Well because I don't want to. It's not enough. Well I mean, I would for now. Especially since I'm not quite ready to start one of these centers on my own. So working at one as like assitant director or manager or something would be good experience for me while I was finishing my degrees. (more explanation on that plural later). And I'd be somewhat content during those years, because I'd know that experience was preparing me for something bigger. But I've learned I don't do good as a little peon employee. I have too many ideas that I itch to put into action. I want to start something from scratch and make it AMAZING.

But it's sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much work. Work that I don't even fully understand yet. Actually I know I could start a preschool on my own, and I'm fairly certain I could start a daycare/preschool on my own as well (I'm referring to a big center, not just out of my own home). Problem there is funding. But I'm nowhere NEAR ready to start a children's museum. Though the dreams and ideas are there... the background knowledge is NOT yet. BUT... I found several exceptional websites and books I will be purchasing to help me learn about it. I have no idea when... but that will be a reality someday in my life. I want it too bad.

I also have a few other little mini ideas that have been floating around in my head, some ever since high school. And I have to think.... SOMEBODY once had an idea for every business from Aunt Marie's little Cookie Shoppe to Walmart to Geico to Microsoft to Macy's. SOMEBODY once thought up an idea that sounded cool. And maybe they thought... man. That sounds like a lot of work.... I don't know if I could pull it off. But they DID pull it off and it worked! Sometimes it works really REALLY well and mulitple sites open up all across the country! Just from somebody's idea.

So WHY NOT?! Why not try to bring at least a couple of these ideas to life? Yeah its going to be hard. But somebody once turned their dream into each and every business in the world. So why can't I be one of those somebodies? I'm not content just working wherever. I can't be just some company's 'employee'. I need to do more. I know I'll never be satisfied settling, so that leads me with one option. Find out how to bring these ideas to life.

So today I created (surprise surprise) a new excel spreadsheet with some steps I feel will help me reach two of my main goals. New daycare/preschool center. New Children's Museum. Obviously finishing my current bachelor's degree is one of the steps. But I've also decided I need some business/entreprenural classes. Maybe a whole degree... maybe some 'certificate'... or maybe I'd just buy some of the textbooks for the classes and learn on my own! LOL (If you haven't gathered by now... I'm kind of a do-it-yourself kind of gal. =) LOL) A new daycare/preschool center is actually also a step towards the New Children's Museum. I know more about a daycare/preschool, but I'd still learn SO much starting one, and I think that would help me with the Children's Museum project. HOPEFULLY.... I can be an Assitant Director at a center for the next few years until Blaine gets an Administrator job somewhere after he graduates. Then wherever we go... I'll open my own. If after a few years there Blaine gets a better job somewhere else... I'll either sell it or still own it and just promote my assistant director and she/he can run it (assuming I super duper trust them and I feel like it would be a good idea at the time). Who knows. But THEN... wherever we move.... which will likely be where we'll settle for the majority of our lifetime, somewhere in this part of the west... the Children's Museum project will emerge.

Yes. Yes. I realize I'm making my life extremely complicated. Why not just get a job wherever and work my way up? Settle for manager or something in the end. (stamps foot) I just don't want to! I don't know why! I'm crazy. I must always have a project to be working on and I can't help it. I LOVE trying something new and the bigger that 'something' is the more I usually love it. Whether it fails or succeeds I love the process! I love the work and planning of it. I love taking pieces and adding creativity and putting it together in the end to create something new and whole.

So... there you are. I have resigned myself to a life of hard work and in depth projects that lead to bigger more in depth projects. I can't get out of it. I can't run away from it. I can't forget about it. It's who I am. I must accept it and surge forward! Step by step til I SOMEDAY make these little dreams and ideas come to life.

Anybody else have crazy dreams you've thought of? Do you plan to make them a reality?