Anybody heard this new country song? I heard it on the radio for the first time today. It took me a minute before I got it. And at the time I found it humorous and clever.
Now I'm repeating it to myself over and over, because that is how I feel: #?*!
I'm trying really really really really really really REALLY REALLY really hard not to be bitter about the situation with my new job. I haven't even started yet!!! And I still just feel so PISSED about it. UGH! At first I was like, okay... there was a little mix up... Monica (the old director) said I got the job, but apparently they hired someone else. Assistant director apologized for the mix up and said the other person must have just had more experience.
A whopping year and a half with the preschool age kids at a daycare. My degree is preschool education... I taught for a year... RAN the classrooms and trained other teachers for a year... and then ran one all by myself at home for a year? How in the freak did she get the job over me?!?!?
So I thought... okay she's just got to be super amazing and charismatic or something. I'll give her the benefit of the doubt. Maybe I can learn a few things from her. Met her today. NOPE. No stinking way she could be better than me. YES... I admit... I sound a little cocky right now. But you know what? It's my blog and I want to vent. I know I'm not the best preschool teacher in the world... but I DO know that I am pretty dang good!
So then I'm thinking.... if Monica told us both we got the job... and then quit without clarifying things to people... who the heck's to say *I* wasn't the one who was SUPPOSED to get the job and SHE was hired as the extra? HUH????? SHE has the daycare experience!!! Put her butt on the daycare side!!! RRRRRRRRRRRRR!
Thus.... this job will be my lesson in humility towards my fellow man. Because at the meeting tonight all I could think about was wanting to scream at my bosses "WHY HER? WHAT are you people thinking!!!! You have NO idea what I can bring to the table!!!!"
I didn't scream that, of course. I sat there and smiled and gave my input on a few things trying to be supportive. Though I may be frustrated and FURIOUS on the inside... I'm really just not one for confrontation. Praise the internet for the invention of blogs, though, cuz this is where I get to let it all out.
I REALLY don't want to hate my job. I'm just so MAD. I don't WANT to go to work everyday and look at her and hope she quits or gets fired, but I know that's what I'm going to do. I just keep thinking PLEASSSSEEE PLEASE suck at this job so they'll put me in your place!!!!
UGHHHHH. I know I need to be nice. I'm working it on. Starting now... after I've ranted and raved about how I'm better than her. LOL Okay... being nice.... righhhhhht.... now.
She's a lovely girl and I hope she does well and if she ever needs assistance I'd be happy to give her ideas from my binders and binders and binders of brilliant lesson plans I've created and pass on any skills from the training I've received. And... if... in the even that she can no longer work in the position she may or may not have been intentionally hired for... I will be willing to sacrifice my own mediocre position to take her place.
#?*!
That SUCKS! Plain and simple. So what do they have you doing? I feel that way when I go subtitute for teachers too. Everyone looks at me and says that I am way too young and inexperienced to run a good classroom, yet I can do better than the regular teacher. It makes me really upset when they just give me a movie to put in for half of the day too. Why don't they just stand back and watch and see what we can do!!
ReplyDeleteThis is the best post. I'm not saying I enjoy your pain, just the way you write about it! It seems after the first day you will probably get what you want soon! I hope so, for the good of the kids!
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